Saturday, June 10, 2017

If I Was God...#6

If I was God, I would never let an evil man like Joshua be a spokesman for me.  This man dared command in God's name that a child be murdered and laid at the foundation of Jericho after Israel had laid it to waste.

Joshua laid an oath on them at that time, saying, “Cursed before the LORD be the man who rises up and rebuilds this city, Jericho. “At the cost of his firstborn shall he lay its foundation, and at the cost of his youngest son shall he set up its gates" (Joshua 6:26).

Yeah, well if you're not understanding how I'm getting a murder and body-laying at the foundation of Jericho from that, I understand.  I'd read the book of Joshua at least a couple times through before, and I'd never realized what this meant.  Let's skip to the future during which time Jericho is rebuilt.  Ahab, king of Judah, was reigning. 

In his days Hiel of Bethel built Jericho. He laid its foundation at the cost of Abiram his firstborn, and set up its gates at the cost of his youngest son Segub, according to the word of the LORD, which he spoke by Joshua the son of Nun (I Kings 16:34).

If you're still lost, all you need to do is look into history to learn about something called foundation sacrifice.   It was common in ancient times for peoples to sacrifice individuals and lay them at a city's foundations and/or gates.  They believed it would bring good fortune.  Archaeologists have unearthed remains of bodies that were laid in the walls of cities. 

The god Joshua served who called Joshua a good and faithful servant was a god who apparently spoke through Joshua his demands that human sacrifices were to be carried out if Jericho was to be built again.

Are you appalled yet?

This has been "If I Was God...#6."

Sunday, April 23, 2017

If I Was God...#5

If I was God I would never have allowed Sodom to become wicked and would never have considered Lot to be righteous when he was willing to allow his virgin daughters to be gang-raped.  No decent person would want to deliver their guests out to be sexually assaulted, but they sure would not send out their innocent daughters to instead be raped. 

Seriously, you mean to tell me that Lot was the last righteous man to live in Sodom?  What would any of you wives reading this think of your husband if he answered the door to face the rowdy neighbors, and he sent out your teen daughters for the neighbors to do with them sexually as they please?  What would you think if your father did that to you or your sister?  What if your husband worshiped the god of Abraham and did these things?  What if other worshipers of this god agreed that your husband was a very upright, righteous man?  Would you love such a god?  Would you love your husband or your father, if he was such a man? 

Lot’s wife is the one who was turned into a pillar of salt during the family’s evacuation of the city.  They were all instructed by one of God’s agents not to look back, but Lot’s wife did.  She was punished for looking back at the city, because temptation got the best of her.  Yet Lot was delivered from the city after having offered his daughters to his horny neighbors.  Nearly all of us have seen movies that depict natural disasters or horrible invasions that force people to flee from their city of residence.  We’ve all seen people stop and look back in shock and horror.  We’ve all thought or shouted aloud, “Go!!!  Just go!!!”  It’s not because we think their looking back is immoral, but we want them to make it out alive.  Maybe Lot’s wife missed her home and her possessions that she’d put so much labor and time into producing—blankets, clothing, eating and drinking vessels and utensils, etc.  Maybe she was experiencing grief over lady-friends she had in the city.  Maybe her lady friends were decent characters and would never want their daughters gang-raped.  Maybe they just happened to not worship a god who approves of men who do their daughters that way. 

Then what does Lot do after he and his daughters hole up in a cave for the rest of their days?  He lets his daughters get him drunk, then he has sex with one daughter one night, which results in an incestous son.  If anyone of any decency ended up doing something that horrible, they sure as hell wouldn’t let it happen again.  Yet the very next night, that sorry motherfucker—no, wait, make that daughterfucker—lets his other daughter screw his drunken ass.  Lot was a sick daughterfucker.  It really does seem that his daughters would have been better off partying with the rowdy neighbors.

Now, it’s a common misconception that Sodom’s sin was that they loved to engage in anal sex.  That is where our modern word sodomy originated. However, both the biblical book of Ezekiel and the extrabiblical book of Jasher states the reason Sodom was viewed as wicked was their lack of generosity and their downright horrendous treatment of non-resident foreigners.  Jasher goes into great detail, although it’s been over a decade since I’ve read it, so I won’t detail anything here now. 

Lot showed hospitality to his guests.  I guess it didn’t matter to God that he let his daughters get fucked all night long by whomever wanted a round with them, just so long as he didn’t let that befall his guests. That wouldn’t be showing good hospitality, would it now?  I suppose, too, it was very generous of Lot to let his daughters screw him so that they could bear sons. 

I just happen to not subscribe to the same definition of righteousness as Abraham and Lot’s god. 

This has been #5 in the "If I Was God..." series.